Covert Abuse Overview

Covert Abuse Notes


There are my own notes developed over the years to shed light on this type of abuse that  for the most part is the  hidden form of abuse. This Abuse approach is the bread  and butter of Inverted Narcissists, which both I and many others consider to be the absolutely most evil and diabolical of all abusers as their 'acting and pretence' is so perfected  that most are easily taken in by this style of highly effective abuse, usually which assures them of complete impunity, and will go undetected for many, many years.    

All forms of abuse -both  overt and covert - are about maintaining control.
Various primitive and immature defense mechanisms are developed out of a perceived sense of helplessness, threat and loss of control. All acts of  Abuse - violent and non-violent - seeks to re-assert one's identity, re-establishing predictability and master the environment.

Covert abuse - as distinct from the overt variety - is stealthy, clandestine and
surreptitious.  It is hard to discern and requires long-term observations in carefully controlled circumstances.  It comprises of a  few "techniques" that  creates an ambience of intimidation, uncertainty, and perplexity.

Ambient Abuse / Covert Abuse
The fostering, propagation and enhancement of an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and irritation (also known as "gas lighting"). By creating an abusive ambience, the abuser avoids explicit acts of abuse - but maintains manipulative control.

In the long term, such an environment erodes the victim self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. The victims becomes unstable and thus are subjected to even more  criticism and judgment by other family members, friends, colleagues and society. The roles are thus reversed: the victim is widely considered mentally deranged and the abuser - the suffering party.

Other Characteristic:

Disproportionality
They React disproportionately - for instance, with violence or rage - to the slightest of a slight, whether real or imaginary. Such exaggerated reactions are perceived by the abuser to be punishments meted out by him for "offences" committed against him. Thus, the abuser may throw a temper tantrum over any disagreement, or criticism, no matter how gently expressed. By constantly changing the rules of the game and by applying unusually harsh and arbitrary penalties, the abuser keeps the victims in the dark and creates in them neediness and dependence on himself. They must maintain that they are the exclusive source of "justice" and judgment of right and wrong.

Impossible Situations

Sometimes the abuser engineers situations in which his victim suffers abuse, harassment, embarrassment, and humiliation and is subjected to social sanctions. They will use  society itself, or a social group, the institution that he works for, etc.  become the instruments of the abuser.

The abuser engineers impossible, dangerous, unpredictable, unprecedented, or highly specific situations in which he is needed, depended on, or - rightly or wrongly - considered the only source of authority, knowledge, skills, connections, or useful traits. Thus, the abuser generates his own indispensability.

Information Abuse
The abuser collects information - mostly of intimate nature - in order to coerce, manipulate, charm, extort or convert his victim "to the real  cause", always "according to him".

Objectification
 They dehumanize and objectify people (treat them like objects, extensions, or instruments). Physical, psychological, verbal and sexual abuse are all forms of dehumanization and objectification.

Proxy Control
The abuser recruits third parties - friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbors, the media, teachers - to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate with, and otherwise manipulate to abuse and control his target.


Uncertainty
Unpredictably, capriciousness, inconsistency and irrationality are instruments of abuse. Family members thus become dependent upon the abuser's whims, outbursts, or mood. By destabilizing everyone around him its life, the abuser becomes the only stable element in say the family unit or any social group he is attempting to control.