Concise Definition of Abuse

What is Abuse?

The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.

The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.

Spiritual Emergency or Psychosis?

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“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer

I love this quote. I see it as particularly relevant to the complex intersection between mental health and spirituality. In the psychiatric camp, a chemical imbalance in your brain can be fixed with the right combination of drugs. In the spirituality camp, you’re on a path of growth and purposeful transformation. 

I focus on a bigger question that motivates me to assist people integrating from their experience. How can we facilitate others in finding meaning and a path to healing that most serves them?

We can agree that pharmaceutical drug use is more prevalent than ever. One can be written a prescription simply due to difficulties adjusting to a new job, a break-up or a geographic move. 

Gladly more and more people are waking up to the knowing that they are more than just a brain in a body and too wise to drink the Kool-aid that says, “this pill can fix you.”  If you’re reading this, then it’s likely you already know that you are a dynamic being and that the multi-dimensional aspects of your life includes a rich spiritual domain.

But when it comes to choosing a path to wellness, the question still remains, how do you leave behind the authority of western psychiatry and begin to frame your experiences in a way that both supports you AND honors your values and spiritual beliefs?

I think the answer lies in looking at the many perspectives – from shamanic initiatory crisis to dark night of the soul and creating your own narrative within a cultural framework that most resonates with you, and then going from there.

If there’s one thing I’ve found, no matter what the label, these psychospiritual crises offer a rich and fertile ground for personal empowerment and transformation and for some act as an initiatory call onto the path of a healer.

Having worked with many healers to assist them in harnessing their gifts, I’ve come to understand that almost all of them were called onto their path through illness.

Drawing on a quote from one of my incredible clients, I ask, “Could your “illness” be your initiation?”

Always keep in mind that the DSM is simply an invention to control

All of the mental illnesses outlined in the diagnostic guide for psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), are inventions. Said differently, there is no biological evidence for any one of the disorders outlined in the DSM. There is no blood test, mouth swab, hair sample, biopsy, spinal tap, x-ray, brain-imaging, nor any other sort of “We’ll have to send this off to the lab,” way to diagnose or confirm psychiatric diseases. Zero. The contents of the DSM are constructed by committees of professionals, most with financial ties to the psychopharmaceutical industry, and then voted upon.

Nov. 4 2015 - My whole career I witnessed the phenomena of 10 Psychiatrists in a room at Grand Rounds and after the presentation all in disagreement with each other as "to the Dx". It was obvious then that its was simply an ego match between them. Became so ludicrous eventually using Dx were thought to be entirely useless and was dropped as being significant in treating the person except for billing purposes.